Once in a while, you hear the sounds of muffled sobbing in the Ladies' Locker room in the morning. This practice is intense. What with deep back bending and stiff body parts opening, emotions shift, epiphanies come, waterworks seem to swiftly follow. Pain is there; whether its surface pain, or a deep down sort of soreness that through all our twisting, forward and backward bending moves up enough to see the light of day.
Yesterday, the girl sniffling through her finishing sequence was me--well, at least one of the girls. Luckily, it's dim in there in the mornings. It's easy to cry cloaked in darkness, to have a "private" moment with myself and my emerging emotions.
Some of it was good. I felt overwhelming gratitude towards Sharath as he told me to skip my nemesis of a pose ekapada and go on to backbend. That somehow he has my back--and literally too by helping care for the poor, stretched out thing!
Some of it was not so good. I'm well into my 3rd month now. The body is fatigued. The practice is long. The subtle body is tired too. It's worked and tender. Issues long past resurface. Unfinished business pops up. Layers of self flap in the wind and it's hard to get a really clear view.
I remind myself (all the time, it seems!) that the important thing is getting the emotions out there. Let the tears fall. Be honest. Release it. See it for what it is, understand what it means to you, and, finally, let it go.